Bridegroom (2013) Directed by Linda Bloodworth-Thomason

 

This story is unusual because it is absolutely true. It is not based upon a true story, it is the story told to you by the people to whom it happened…with a few exceptions.

 

Shane Bitney Crone did not have an easy life growing up. Though he had a loving family Shane is gay, and an unfortunate confession to a crash unable to reciprocate his love made Shane Bitney Crone’s high school years a living hell.

 

Tom Bridegroom grew up in Indiana; he was very popular, very talented, and very eager to get out of there.  Tom had a secret.  He too was gay.  However, he never told his family and escaped to attend Vassar and to build a life true to his identity that did not include his family of origin.

 

Fate led Shane and Tom to California where they met, and fell deeply in love. From here it is something of a fairytale.  They were young, with jobs they loved, with friends who accepted them, and they were very much in love.  They were frugal, indulging not in the “gay scene” but in their real passion, travel.  Their first trip was to Egypt to see the Great Pyramids.  Their plan was to see the Seven Wonders of the World. 

 

Their relationship survived coming-out to Shane’s family. It’s made them stronger.  It even survived coming-out to the Bridegrooms; Tom’s parents were not accepting, were not loving, were ashamed of their son, and his lover.  But even then, it looked like things were getting better.  Tom’s mother would come out to California to see her son and her “son-in-law” and seemed to be slowly coming around.

 

Then, on May 7, 2011 Tom was doing a photo shoot with a family friend on the roof of their apartment complex. Tom backed up to the edge, slipped, and plummeted four stories. The hospital would not allow Shane to see him while they fought for his life because Shane was not family.

 

Tom Bridegroom died.  And despite their nine years together, their shared life, their shared home, their shared business, Shane had no legal rights to determine anything.  Martha Bridegroom decided her son would be buried in Indiana.

 

On the way to the airport, a relative of Tom’s called Shane and told him he would not be welcomed at the funeral and that in point of fact Tom’s father, brother and other male relatives planned to assault him if they saw him.

 

Shane Bitney Crone has no legal rights because at that time California did not have gay marriage.  Despite the beautiful life these two men built together it accounted for less than nothing and Shane at the lowest moment in his life was erased from the history of Thomas Lee Bridegroom. 

 

On the one year anniversary of Tom’s death Shane posted a film called “It Could Happen to You.”  In it he poured out the pain and suffering that being cut from his partners life caused him.  He detailed the brutal fragility of his position in the eyes of the law and the complete despair that the lack of any recognition caused him.  The video had over three and half million viewers on YouTube.

 

That was the inspiration for this full length documentary.  The Bridegrooms were invited to participate.  They declined.

 

What follows is a heart rending only genuine outpouring of human emotion both celebrating and memorializing the real passionate love these two men shared, and the cold callus death their relationship was subjected to by Tom’s parents.

 

If you have ever wondered what the big deal about “Gay Marriage” is, watch this video and you will understand.  If you love someone who is gay, and their sexuality makes you uncomfortable, if their “lifestyle choice” has come between you, watch this movie.  If you just want to understand more about the challenges of being gay in America watch this movie.  And most importantly watch it with someone you love.